The last couple of days I have felt that I needed to post
this real talk…
For most of my life I have struggled with comparing myself
to others. I look at other people and see how talented they are in certain
areas and I wish I had even a fraction of their talent! I can’t tell you how
many times I have cried out to God telling him how I feel “jipped” of real
talent. I have told him many times that I feel like I got a bunch of “half-gifts”
while he blessed others with “whole-gifts.” When I would look at myself I would
see someone who is adequate at writing, teaching, art, and singing amongst
other things… but not amazing at any of them. That’s where I came up with the “half-gift”
idea; I wanted to be amazing at even just one thing!
Yes, I realize that sounds crazy and God has brought me a
LONG way over the last five years. God spoke to my heart and told me that he
has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and in order to use my life for his plans he
needed me to have multiple passions. He told me that before I was formed in my
mother’s womb he knew me (Jeremiah 1:5) and he created my inmost being and knit
me together (Psalm 139:13).
You see I learned that God created me to be ME! I have come
to love my crazy mash up of gifts and talents and I look forward to watching
God use them! I have learned that comparing myself to others is toxic and
suffocating! I can’t write like anyone else or it won’t be true. I can’t teach
like anyone else because God put a word in my heart! I have my own style of
art, and it’s odd and weird and perfectly me. And even though I am not the best
singer I will worship my heavenly father with all I have within me. I want God
to use every part of me, but that means I have to be ME and not anyone else!
We live in society that encourages us to keep up with the
Jones’ or the Kardashian’s, where magazines are photoshoped to show perfection…
but that’s not REAL!! What is real? You have an amazing heavenly father that
loves you so much that he took the time to knit you together in your mother’s
womb and you are not a mistake! You are hand crafted and paid for by the
highest price. I pray that we would learn to seek the truth of who we are
through God’s eyes. That we would turn off the noise of the TV, internet, books
and social media and listen to the truth of who we are from God’s word. That we
would learn how amazing we are as ourselves and allow God access to the gifts
he has placed in us!
